The Des Moines school system is pulling junk food, soda, and candy from their vending machines in order to promote healthy eating from its students. Taking away things like cigarettes and alcohol from teens is definitely successful in promoting healthy abstinance of those products, so why wouldn’t it work on food? But these plans face […]

In a blockbuster trade announced Thrusday, Lance Berkman will come to the Blernball All-Stars for David Wright and AJ Pierzynski. “Lance is coming back after rehabbing his knee this offseason and we think he’s going to do great things this year, he’s a hell of a player,” said manager Morton Dexter Beals. The trade is […]

Which guy would you rather have on the mound right now? Hint: the guy on the left has 2 more fingers and 3 fewer earned runs per nine.

Following a crushing defeat at the hands of bitter rival Diamond Anarchybots, and a month of flat hitting and poor pitching, manager Morton Dexter Beals had had enough. “We got some guys that aren’t pulling their weight; it was time for a change.” That change happened this week as the Blernsballaz picked up some new […]

U.S. Considers bunker busting nukes to combat proliferation of unground facilities
US defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld yesterday asked Congress to agree $8.5m of funding for research into a ground-penetrating nuclear weapon which would address what Rumsfeld considers the growing problem of potential enemies burying vital installations deep underground.